Being a woman is amazing and in many ways, we own our femininity. But a common trait I see in my clients is a lack of confidence. Now don’t get me wrong, my clients are ballers and highly successful women. But still I notice their self-doubt creep in which can lead to self sabotage.
So what’s the deal? Why are women not feeling their confidence and displaying it to the world, especially at work? Well as women we have a LOT of priorities and sadly are always feeling like we are falling short on something. That nagging little voice sets in multiple times a day telling us we are not doing enough or being enough. And oh, this is so true when it comes to work. This voice holds us back from grasping at the bigger roles, asking for that promotion, and speaking up in the work meeting.
Sound like you?
If this is resonating with you then don’t worry. Many women at work feel this way, and are in need of a confidence boost. So how do we build that confidence, and get rid of self-doubt, so you can really claim your space at work and own your career? Here are some tips to get you started immediately.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want…NOW
This is one that took me so long to master. I was always the hesitant one, never feeling like I could claim what was deserved based on my work. But guess what, the worst thing that can happen is you ask and someone says no. Oh well. And if you get the no then ask for feedback on how you can improve so that no becomes a yes in the future. But please, do not be afraid to ask for what you want. No one is going to give anything to you, unless you speak up.
You are amazing…so own that shit!
So many times I see women reacting so uncomfortably when talking about their accomplishments. I even notice other women stopping co-workers from giving them that much deserved pat on the back. Girl you are amazing, so own it. Don’t be afraid to brag and boast about your accomplishments. Of course do it professionally, but do it.
Stop over apologizing, and never apologize for stating your opinion
You have a voice so use it. If you have a position on a particular work topic express it. Don’t be pushy but speak up. Never apologize for expressing your thoughts. And stop apologizing when you do. In fact, you can stop over apologizing in general. Read my blog post “Do Women Apologize Too Much At Work?” for info on how on how to tackle this common issue for women at work. https://sincerelyready.com/do-women-apologize-too-much-at-work/
Increase your network of supporters
Build relationships and connect with other like minded, career-focused women. This network of women will be amazing as mentors and can help you brainstorm ways to set yourself apart from others at work. Your network will be there for your wins, and help you get through any losses. They can also increase your ability to find other positions when you need it. Your career girl crew will help boost that confidence asap.
Stop negative self talk…NOW
If you are telling yourself you can’t then guess what YOU WON’T. Negative self talk affects us all but it’s important to quash those words as soon as they are drummed up. If you are telling yourself you are too shy, inexperienced, or simply can’t get it done then try a different narrative. Whenever that negative self-talk comes up just speak back by telling yourself how dope you really are.
Take risks
Its OK to take risks. If you don’t you will have an issue advancing in terms of your career. All of the great female leaders have taken some scary plunge to get where they are today. Scared that risk taking will lead to rejection or failure? Well it might. But you also need to fail to make it. Failure teaches you resilience, a key skill to being a great leader. So start taking a few risks today.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Sure a coworker might be doing well and getting recognized. But that just means it’s their time, yours will come. Let them have the spotlight for now, and get back to focusing on building you. Don’t compare yourself to others achievements. Not only will this create a big detour in your success, but it is a major confidence killer. Focus on you, your goals, and achievements. Don’t think that you have to measure up to anyone else but yourself.
Follow these tips and that confident demeanor is sure to follow!